Okay, okay, okay, let’s get real with a touch of personal…
As we grow up from the elementary and middle school stage, birthday cards and preppy conversations seem to put every friend in the place of ‘best friend’. If someone isn’t there for you in your midnight hour, they are termed fake friends —but honestly… that’s just not it.
First, we need to understand that there are levels to this friendship thing. I mean, some people are just there to be your biology class pals, or maybe your talk-all-day, your lunchtime partner —one person can’t be everything at the same time, neither can you… Not everyone’s going to understand or even know you on that deep a level, and it doesn’t mean you or they are a bad friend. You’re just in each other’s lives for different roles.
Next, trying too hard even makes it unbearable for yourself. If someone barely knows your name, yet you’re spilling all your darkest secrets, you’re left in awkwardness when you pour yourself out, and they have no idea how to respond. Eventually, the friendship fizzes out, and you’re left embarrassed and even worried about who gets to hear your secrets next. Don’t exhaust yourself —not everyone is your ride or die, and that’s absolutely fine.
Now, this doesn’t mean there’s only acquaintances and then there’s the best friends —nuh-uh… You can still have real connections built on:
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Sharing the same science class, or going to the same youth group, cringing on the lunch menu because how horrible can it get? And those connections, they’re solid —each person brings a different feel to your life, and it’s so amazing.
Another thing—the number doesn’t matter. You could have 1,000 or 10 and still feel lonely, or you could have 1 and feel seen and supported. Either way, you don’t have to give everyone the inside scoop on your life. You’re allowed to have boundaries, and if they can’t take it, it’s alright to walk away. You need to be able to recognise people’s place in your life and not elevate them to something they’re not.
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My final words for this:
Not everyone’s your best friend, and that’s fineee . Friendships grow at different paces and at different times. Some are now, some forever, some are chill, some are deep —don’t make them all one.
Have you felt the pressure of making everyone your bestie? Or even had to understand this recently? Share with us, we’re listening…
