Teen Relationships, and Love?

In the spirit of love and the Valentine’s season, I’ve been reflecting …with all the flowers, chocolates, teddy bears bigger than GPAs, couples’ color coordination as competition; Val’s Day as a single teen can totally feel like the rom-com of the year you weren’t cast in.

But hey, here’s the thing: not being in a relationship for one day out of 365? It’s not tragic, not embarrassing, and if you’re a Christian teen girlie, you have a whole lot of love that doesn’t die out after Feb. 14^th. And here is where it gets more exciting: if you are not in this type of love, you might want to subscribe to this love.

Thinking about Teen Relationships

Let’s take a step back…

I’m not anti-couples, I love love! I’m literally rooting for my best friend to end up with a her sweet guy at the moment.

The holding hands? I’m all for it, The little notes? How adorable!

But teen relationships are usually:

– struggling to find boundaries,

– struggling to find individual identities

-mostly temporary

-a mess because of uncertain priorities

These don’t make them bad, it’s just the reality of them and I think being confident in your identity in Christ Jesus and his love may not seem enough on that day but trust me, it’s better than putting yourself forcibly in a relationship and under the stress it brings.

Knowing Jesus’ Love

If you’re a Christian teen girlie, then you already know: Jesus’ love doesn’t depend on us, on our appearance, our favorite book series or whether we have a horrible hair day.

The Bible clearly tell us in Jeremiah 31:3, “… Yea, I have loved thee with an everlasting love…”

He chose us not because of our capabilities but because of who He is and he assures us of his unfailing love. He knows every phase, every weird stage, all the times you drool and everything you hide from people and YET he still loves you.

Now being honest, how many can confidently say if their partner saw them in their most unfiltered state, they’ll stay?

Now, the Good parts

Having already said I’m not anti-couples, let’s talk about the underrated benefit of singles: Personal Space

Now, now, I know you might say you have no personal space with your parents constantly butting heads in your life but that’s for your own good and a different blog post altogether.

This space I’m talking about is the one to:

• Figure out who you are, without making yourselves something you’re not to please a partner
• Build friendships with who you want, not who your partner chooses
• Grow spiritually, unhindered by any external force
• Discover what standards you actually want for a relationship

I mean, there’s many other things… and these build up a confidence that radiates…

And all these perks + a love that you can’t be separated from? Gold! (Romans 8:38-39)

The Truthful Tea…

Okay, honesty…

Sometimes it hurts.

It stings seeing all those teddy bears and intertwined hands, it stirs the desire for your person. The one who’ll tell you good night before he goes to bed, who’ll willingly give his shoulder to your tears, who’ll be your biggest cheerleader in anything.

The longing (lust in the Bible) is real. But the Bible as always gives us a solution which is to “…Abstain from all appearance of evil” (1 Thessalonians 5:22). In such times, we need to run to our person who’s always there waiting for us to come to him, the Bible also tells us in Psalm (the sweetest, most comforting book🤩) 34:18, “The Lord is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart…” What more assurance could we get that he’s there, our comforter?

And even though we don’t see him, we have assurance that He’s with us and in such cases; cry to Him, listen for his encouragement, look for his proud smile and his quiet words, sit in His presence and meditate on his Word.

Final Thoughts

So, girlies, … and guys…,

Not every love story begins in high school.

Not every guy is your golden boy, not every girl is your golden girl, so if you haven’t met yours, it’s just not your time yet. And if you have Jesus, then you’re in great company as you wait, so cherish that company and when the time’s right, you’ll find your Romeo or your Juliet (without the tragic ending).

If you agree, disagree or are somewhere in the middle, drop your comments! We’d love to hear your story.

If you’ve also found your person, I’m really happy for you and wish you all the best love has to offer.