Are Group Projects the Absolute Worst, or Am I Just Different?

Group Projects, Totally the Best, right?

This might not be the kindest read ever, so to anyone who loves group projects, please don’t read this (or stay and don’t judge). Are group projects the absolute worst, or am I just different? Is it a crime to actually want a good grade? To set high standards? To expect other human beings to want to work together so you can all achieve a common purpose? What’s the deal with being civilised and doing your fair share of work in a project? Here are a few questions of mine on the horrors of group projects.

Dear Group Work, why is it always only me?

Look here, when I started this whole school thing, you were so appealing. I mean, a chance to work with friends and explore this vast knowledge field together, count me in! But look where that’s gotten me. With teachers who just can’t put cooperative people in my group, but rather leeches who let me do 99.9% of the work and even try to take credit, like are we serious??? And I’m the bad person for wanting my A? Group Work, suspicious!

(Look, sometimes you’re the only one who cares about your grade, and the others know it too, so obviously if they don’t do the work, they know you will. That’s just the way it is, and sometimes, you might just do it. Hey, it’s fine, nothing’s permanent. These leeches will go away, and eventually you’ll hopefully be in a group with cooperative people. I honestly don’t have a solution for this, so if you do, please share. I’ll be very grateful.)

Dear Group Work, Scheduling with you is a challenge. I’m genuinely trying to contribute and involve others, so why does coordinating with you feel ten times more difficult than the punch Jeremiah gave to Conrad? Why is it always “Tuesday?” “No, I’m busy…” “What about after school?” “Yeah, I just can’t, a girl’s gotta rest.” Why must you make it so hard?

Can we please have some mutual understanding here? There are times when people genuinely want to participate. They want to appear engaged, but they prefer to do so outside of class, away from the eyes of the popular crowd. But before you celebrate this effort, don’t. Scheduling a meeting is never easy. From the “I’m busy’s” and “I have a date,” to simply not showing up, it’s maddening. You might not even settle on a date until senior year, five years later. So, in these situations, here’s my advice: don’t even bother trying if you know it’s not going to work out. Spare yourself the extra stress. But… if you think

Dear Group Work, still a bother when you work…

Group Work, tell me why everything with you has to have issues? Okay, when everyone’s working together and life’s going good, you have to cause a rift. Why can’t you just practice consistency? Just let me do all the work, or have me work with cooperative people and be on the same page as me. Don’t give me people who nitpick every single detail? Can you let me have peace from the “Why is it Times New Roman, eww?” Maybe because that’s what’s required for academic work? I haven’t done anything against you, so why can’t you just let things be good for me? Jeezz…

Dear Group Work, why is my GPA? Why are my thoughts?

Group Work, I’ve tried my best to ensure we have a civil relationship, but you don’t seem to be trying. Because, why does it have to be me? Why do you always put me through this, having to carry unnecessary weight to the benefit of my GPA? Why can’t you just let me be with my friends who care enough about their GPA like me? We all just carry the weight and, in the end, it’s great. Now, the fear of you plagues my thoughts and my insecurities are built upon you. Please leave me alone, we’re totally over!

Dear Group Work, Final Words…

Here’s the thing, Group Work, this is toxic, bro. You’ve lured me in all my life with promises of teamwork, fun and (okay fine) sometimes you deliver. But every other time? You break me over and over. I’m onto you and your chaos, and until the end of time, we’re stuck in this love-hate relationship. So do me a favour, Group Work and for once in your life, please do better.

Your ‘ever-loving’ Ms Lele.